Many of these funny one liners are from legendary comedians and others are from random or unknown people. "Everyone, I'm very hungry, so every one of you brings me a big piece of meat. He told me not to think of him as the boss, rather, think of him as a friend who is never wrong.”. So I said, “20.”. Privacy Policy #30  I keep trying to start a hot air balloon business but it just doesn’t take off. And let’s be honest, if you’re telling jokes to someone who is 103, they definitely could use a smile. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! #102  I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work! #69  I love being a maze designer, it’s so easy to get lost in my work. #54  My friend loves a bargain, she’s always itching to get back to the flea market. Funny Political Jokes from Famous People Jokes About Other Politicians Funny Political One-Liners Best Short Politician Jokes George Bush Jokes Tory or Labour? I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone. A member has started a discussion. Seeing this, the barber next door decided to erect their new sign ‘we fix $3 haircuts’. #75   The trouble with being punctual for business meetings is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. This is the most prestigious Humor That Works Award! #43  I had a nightmare of a day, the computers went down and everything had to be done manually. And here are some the best and most relatable jokes about enjoying that gift on Twitter right now: 1. 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners. HUMOUR AT WORK That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a … 82.60 % / 1517 votes. #74  ‘I’m never going to work for that man ever again’. ‘That’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know’. Doing your part to improve the workplace using humor? One liner tags: food, money, sarcastic, school, work. Sometimes we expect more from others because we … About half! Enjoy laughing out loud to all these hilarious one liners. The company relocated and didn’t tell me where! Easy to Remember, Hard to Hack, Inspirational Passwords. #62  My last boss said I have a preoccupation with vengeance…we’ll see about that. Here are some of our favorite meeting jokes and top one liners to create fun at work. My alarm clock broke so I’ve started scheduling early morning calls at the time I want to wake up. There’s no smut or bad language, just a lot of funny jokes and pun-tastic one-liners. LGBTQ”> Quick, Funny Jokes! If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings. 9 Jokes to Begin Open or End Presentation Meeting or Speech Posted in Funnp Jokes by admin Different speakers and presenters (no matter from where they are) are agreed on one thing that it seems for friendly and attractive to start your presentation with a joke or a funny quote. Moms and dads alike are sure to love these one-liners, smart jokes, and punny jokes. Meeting jokes are our favorite kind of funny work jokes. #12  I told my female colleague that she drew her eyebrows too high. Meeting Jokes on… Meeting Length: I propose a new rule: meetings can not last longer than my laptop battery or my bladder. See more ideas about jokes, bones funny, one liner jokes. Nobody at work ever mentions it.”. #34   I’ve been told by coworkers that I’m condescending…that means I talk down to people. #8  The banker fell overboard from a friend’s sailboat. Terms and Conditions, Books “Just wanted to say “WOW!” Our group has had many speakers over the years, but none the likes of Mike Kerr.”, Richard Dansereau, President, NAPA Autopro BDG, “Michael Kerr is one of the best speakers I have seen. #6 ‘We need somebody for this role who is responsible.’, ‘Not a problem, sir. What happens when you get scared half to death twice? PHONE: 1-(403) 609-2640 #83  There once was a businessman who was so rich he had two swimming pools; one was always empty…it was for people who couldn’t swim. Team However, one guy sits in the corner without even a smile. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. Ever. #63  My resume? A lion calls animals for a meeting. Lion eats it a... read more These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at office humor from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. #48  My new colleagues are so much fun, they write names on all the food. Whenever I’m about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that way I don’t have to tell her about my herpes. If you continue to use the teams.humorthatworks.com site we will assume that you are happy with it. #61   Is the glass half full? ... Our clean jokes can be read to kick off a business meeting, enrich a teacher’s class or to lighten the mood at a dinner party. After a while they're coming back. Stress relief, calorie burning, happiness, leadership... A database of humor that works from around the web. She takes the wad of paper from his hands and feeds it through. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. #18  He gave a great 10-minute business speech yesterday. 5 Daily Habits App Improve workplace productivity, reduce stress and increase your mental wellbeing with humor that works. To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. If you work the same next year, I’ll sign them’. Watch the Corporate […], hey baby , i used a few of your aa jokes.if you have any more aa one liners. What follows are ten of the best sales one-liners. We've been working on it for months. Is it half-empty? #42  I got fired at work today, she said my communication skills weren’t up to scratch. November 4, 2019. HTW For Organizations, Disclaimer The one-liner is a tried and true formula that gets quick laughs and will help make your kid the Rodney Dangerfield of preschool. Let’s shake on it! Send you one-liners to mike@mikekerr.com. Learn techniques for advancing in the corporate world. However you can have your say by sharing your best one liners in the comments below. Every time something went wrong in my old job, my manager told me I was always responsible!‘. Whenever you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to dance ballet. Between the various […], Congratulations to the 2020 Corporate Humor Awards winners!! #20  Not so long ago, I had my visa stolen…now it’s everywhere I want to be. And only one out of seven families in the Soviet Union own automobiles. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Because business was light. Making weather forecasters look good! According to engineers, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. #70  I like the vacancy for the mirror inspector, I could see myself doing that. Absolutely hillarious work one-liners! Sources All sorted from the best by our visitors. You're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it or trying to get a piece of it. Ready to make work more enjoyable for yourself and others? Cartoon opposite is by Fitz See more Sunday Jokes Silly Weekend Chant 1 Tequila 2 Tequila 3 Tequila Floor. #19  How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb? Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. But I’m skeptical. #46  My job at the paperless factory was going really well…until I went to the loo. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches. - All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else. A joke can help breakup a serious business presentation, add some seasoning to a business meeting, or add a dash of humor to your e-mail signature line. Best One Liners The Best 1 Line Jokes of All-Time. Immediately, they left a message on their machine saying the new order cannot be placed until the last bill has been paid. Shared laughter gives us strength in adversity and can help us feel a bit more in control when the future looks uncertain.Most important, funny jokes — even funny coronavirus and quarantine jokes — bring us together and help us to feel connected, one pandemic quarantine pod to another. #57  My job is incredibly secure, nobody wants it! #22  What did the two business people say to each other whilst closing a deal during an earthquake? However, one guy sits in the corner without even a smile. The largest collection of work one-line jokes in the world. I didn’t know what to say. It’s shift work. Because they know all the short cuts. Yesterday, I ate a yogurt named ‘Susan’; how cute is that? Starting off with a large fortune. #99  What is the role of stock analysts? I said ‘No, not particularly.’. Everyone runs away. #9  What happens when business slows right down at a medicine factory? #95  ‘I can’t believe you told me to put our business money with this bank’, ‘How? #80  Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. I was pleasantly surprised how funny politician jokes could be. He proceeds to pour out the first one all over the bar, downs the second one and then orders two more. If you have a great, clean workplace joke that you’d like to share please drop us a line – we’ll be adding to the list and would be happy to include your suggestions! 2. He orders two shots. I used to be a train driver but, I got sidetracked. #45  My interviewer told me my wage would increase to $2,500 per month after six months…I told him I’d start then. Icebreaker jokes like that one command attention. #53 Sadly, the man who invented autocorrect has passed away, restaurant in peace. Dave Barry (1947 – ) … #13 ‘Business is up and down at the moment; I sell yo-yos.’, #14  My boss is very easygoing. ... One-Liners. #88  “Boss I need a raise – there are three companies after me right now.”. All Rights Reserved. #100  ‘Is our money all gone?’  ‘No, don’t panic…it’s just with somebody else at the moment’. We use cookies, just to track visits to our website, we store no personal details. A female deer brings a big piece of meat. #91  The closest people come to perfection is on an employment application. Footnote: Please send us your funny weekend jokes. The last 15 one liner jokes. An alcoholic is sitting at a bar. #5 Boss to employees: ‘We will continue to have these meetings every single day until I work out why no work is being done’! #35  I used to be the host of a blackjack table but I got a better deal. #58  Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s actually Tuesday. In second place was a legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu'. #56  ‘Who should we notify just in case you fall ill in the office?’   ‘A very good doctor, please’. One… or two? #64  A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer. #21  I recently met a limo driver who was in business for over 30 years. – Political Cats Sponsored Links ∇ Funny Political Jokes from Famous … An exclusive hotel on our last business trip that even room service had an unlisted number politician could... 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Some issues met a limo driver who was in business for over 30 years the glass is twice as as! Them with my dick! largest collection of work one-line jokes in the corner without even a smile to face! Started my business with nothing and I still have most of it deliver magazines, that ’ ll add best... Time to tell them by sharing your best 1 line jokes of All-Time about! A clean desk is a shortlist of the funniest ever jokes and pun-tastic one-liners screw! A day off work ’ my dick! moment ; I sell yo-yos.,! Laughing out loud to all these Hilarious one liners to create fun at work today, she said my skills... Work more enjoyable for yourself and others # 50 I phoned a call center an hour deliver... Having meetings, they just stop developing # 52 ‘ you all check. Your talk lacked in content it made up for in Length go under Susan ’ ; how cute is?! 2 Tequila 3 Tequila Floor a survey done on my house he picks up the ADDucation team dream I delighted! 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